English: Photograph of the skyline of Downtown...

English: Photograph of the skyline of Downtown Houston, Texas Español: Una foto del panorama urbano de Downtown Houston Category:Images of Houston, Texas (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I seem to be getting mentally stronger, more prepared and more confident. I know what I have to do, I know what is wrong in this aspect of my life, I just have to keep working.

I am still unsure why I am having such a problem getting a job, I am still being a bit picky because I want some place that I can have a career, I don’t just want a job. I’ve had jobs all my life, I went back to school for a career, and I know that I can do a good job. Everyday I feel like I am letting time pass me by. I would really like to make things happen faster, but they just aren’t and sometimes the impatient part of me causes me to stress out! I am, however, getting less picky all the time. I have stopped looking at just certain job titles, and have even decided that if I can figure out how to come up with the money I am extremely willing to move for a job. I can not however bring myself to move somewhere cold yet, or Texas or California.

I am not helping myself by stressing out over Ty. I feel like I have done that poor kid wrong and that I should have considered a move a long time ago. His social skills are just not good and we live in this “bass ackwards” place that doesn’t have anything for a person or kid to do if you don’t have a friend’s house to go to. Driving to the closest town in our county won’t do any good because theirs nothing there either, and driving to Clarksville is hard to do when I don’t even have gas money.

I’m crying for my little boy right now and trying to figure out how to help him and where in this “backwoods bubba” place I can find what I need to help him. I can’t regret the things that brought me here because what I’ve gained will forever be in my heart and life, but right now I can’t help but wonder what the hell I was thinking!


I’ve been trying…


Tangled (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

for two weeks to come up with something interesting to blog about, but I think my life is just that boring really. We have been up to a few things though.

On the 2nd of June Ty and I went to “The Movies in the Park”, which is something the city of Clarksville does for free. We really enjoyed watching Tangled on a big screen out in the park with a lot of other people. We look forward to going back to the next movie that we want to see. They play a lot of good movies, but we don’t really want to see all of them.

Ty also went to his first “Noggin Shack” at our local library. Kids can go there and do different things and meet different people during the summer. the 2nd was Mystical Creatures and they learned how to make a dragon out of a folder and brads! He had a blast! Tonight is the Duck Tape Workshop.

The 8th of June we went and watched “The Island” at the local library. I really wish I had looked into it a bit more before we went because it was a bit gory and had some nudity, but it wasn’t too awful for a 13-year-old. I did win a pirate hat so there is that! We will be going back for their next movie too.

Otherwise the only thing going on around here was my physical therapy for my rotator cuff, going back to the doctor and job hunting. I have decided that if I can get the money I am more than willing to move to any number of places. Maybe I’ll set myself up an account for donations! LOL! I have thought about going back to school for a 2nd Masters degree in Global Studies, but I’m so undecided about it.

There is the cost to start with, and choosing a school (one of the better programs is in a place that I would rather not move back to). Then there is my age. I know that you’re never to old to go to school, but honestly right now I just want to be working! Perhaps I need to consider a program that I can attend part-time and still work. Best of both worlds so to speak. I must consider this more!

In the meantime, it’s time to get my stuff together and get Ty to his Noggin Shack night!!

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