A little delay and cruise review is at the last full day

Caramel Macchiato

Image by PseudoGil via Flickr

Good morning to you all! I put a delay on posting my blog and so I did not get one up yesterday, but it allowed me to change from staying up late to get a post out to getting one out the next morning. The way I’ve been doing my blog posts make it difficult to write it early and then schedule it, but I think I may have that worked out now!

Yesterday was supposed to be another great day, but it seemed to just go down the pot. I invited a friend and her son over for dinner, nothing special just grilled bratwurst, beans and chips, but then she called and said she wasn’t coming.  Then I had something that I really wanted to do tonight, but because I relay on J.R. currently for everything that involves money I had to talk him into it and he had his typical asshole response. “We can go do something else but I could care less about going to watch a movie I’ve seen before.” He doesn’t get that it wasn’t about the movie at all, I don’t like the movie, but he does. It was about the chance to hang out with some great people that have been becoming my friends but I haven’t been able to see them in a couple of months. He doesn’t care, he doesn’t want to be around them and at this point I think if he can keep me from them it will make him happy. I know that sounds like I’m being really hard on him, but I’m not sure that I’m wrong. See I’ve been making some changes in my life, better friends, better attitude, just generally trying to feel like me again. I’m not settling for whatever I’m going after what I want and he doesn’t seem to like that. He wants me to want to do what he wants to do because I always have, but that’s not me. It never was me, but I did it anyway because I let myself believe that I didn’t deserve better and would never be able to have better. By getting back to being the “real” me, or perhaps the me that I knew was there but tried to bury before she could come out, I am realizing that if I have to live alone I’ll be okay. It scares me because I’ve never been in that position, but I seem to be to picky for everybody anyway so maybe being alone would be best. No matter what though, yesterday made for a major hurt feelings kind of day.

The good news is that I did get some more jobs applications out and found a few to look at on Monday.

May 13 Carnival Fascination at sea:

After we woke up, early, and got a leisurely breakfast we stopped at the coffee shop where I got a caramel macchiato and we hung out for the scrapbook group. We had a great time making a scrapbook page and talking to all the other ladies that also came. After that we went to the Lido deck for some lunch and again to just relax and do things at a leisurely pace. The big art auction started at 1 p.m. so we made sure to get there a little bit early in order to get good seats, taste the champagne and catch Jessica or Michael (the art auctioneers assistant and the art auctioneer). We had a great time as we had all week long, but we didn’t buy anymore art work. We just knew that we couldn’t afford it. I know there was something we did after that, but for the life of me I can’t remember what it was. I know we wanted to be at the murder mystery but for some reason didn’t make it. After dinner that night we again went to the comedy shows and laughed until our sides hurt. At one point I had to go to the art gallery to fix my sail and sign card so our art could be paid for. I flirted with Micheal, the auctioneer, heavily and I’m pretty sure he was flirting back a little bit. Unfortunately for me I’m sure he was just doing his job. I really liked him though and if I ever see him again I have decided that I will talk to him when he’s not working and see what happens! Now that this is many hours past when I wanted it up I will see you again in the morning!

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