Don’t know how to handle today

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Had a meeting at Ty’s school today, obviously it did not go well. I feel so alone right now, and so inadequate. Ever since Ty started school there have been problems. He has an ADHD diagnosis, I think he has a co-morbid also but I had not been able to get anyone to look for anything. Now that I have a doctor who is willing to listen and help me find out if there are other issues the school doesn’t care anymore. If they do it certainly does not feel like it. It feels like they are just trying to push him out of their school because he doesn’t fit their mold. I have been asking for three years for him to be held back because he is more immature than the peers he is with now. I was told today that if he is held back the school gets in trouble. If this is in fact the truth I have to assume that it is because he has an IEP, and the “No Child Left Behind” laws. Those laws do next to nothing for kids, if a child would benefit from being held back they now can not be. I asked what the difference would be if an Auditory Processing Disorder or Autism Spectrum Disorder was added and did not get an answer that i liked. “Oh nothing would change, he would do better in ‘the alternative school’, we have several other Asperger’s kids there, they do best there.” Really, so now the most restrictive school in the county is the best place?

I’m just so frustrated. I know that Ty has to do his work, and show his teachers respect, I can not argue with that at all. I won’t argue with that. However I also know that Ty has no social skills, and no friends. I have asked the school to help me and they have not done anything. I have no idea who else to go to for help. I feel so alone. I feel like I should be doing more, that I should have been doing more all along. I am really beating myself up over this, and while there are a lot of reasons why, one of them is because I keep thinking that maybe if I would have had someone who knew what they were doing and were not me (so they wouldn’t be emotionally attached) then I would have been doing my best.

School started on August 1st. Since August 4th they have been trying to put Ty in ‘the alternative school’, and they have finally succeeded. He will be forever labeled in this county, he will never be given a chance. I’ll be surprised if he could even manage to get a diploma. Maybe I’m being more harsh because my wound is still so fresh, but I just don’t think he will ever get out of ‘the alternative school’ as long as he is here. I respect everyone at ‘the alternative school’ and they are a good school for those kids that the concept was made for – the drug kids, and the violent kids. Ty is already at least two years behind academically, and I’ve yet to see anyone actually try to help him learn. I’ve tried at home, but I don’t do well teaching him and he doesn’t respond to me. Of course now I’m going to have to figure out how to get him to respond anyway. Perhaps I’ve been selfish going back to school; maybe all of my energy should have been put toward him. I don’t know, and I don’t know how to go forward from here – so I’m winging it. I’m going to see about getting him in with a child psychiatrist, and still get him into the neurology appointment. I have to make absolutely sure what the doctors say his full diagnosis is before I can search for the answer on how to proceed. I also hope to find a child or education advocate, that person whose emotions are not involved like mine. Hopefully those same people can tell me if I really am a bad parent.


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Jen
    Feb 03, 2011 @ 18:02:16

    You are NOT a bad parent! Keep pushing… I’m here if you need to talk.


  2. showmecorruption
    Feb 23, 2011 @ 05:15:29

    YOu are a great person and a great mom stick to your guns.


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