Good Morning Great Day!

Cartoon of a redneck hillbilly.

Image via Wikipedia

Yesterday was a great day. The work day went smoothly, and I managed to get some things done, or at least moved forward a lot. I stopped at my nurse practitioners office and found out I have an upper respiratory infection, which means I’m on more antibiotics. It seems to be just one thing after another lately, but that’s okay at least I’m getting healthy, I think. The Predators played the St. Louis Blues last night, and I did get to go. I always enjoy a hockey game, and I think the game was great, even though I also think the officials did a horrible job. There were a couple of fights which amped up the energy of the crowd as it always does.

I have been spending quite a bit of time thinking about what I want to do after I graduate with my Masters degree. I have not been too easy on myself I must say. I had a what I consider a really mean thought. I was thinking about various things, where I would be willing to move to, what kind of job do I really want to try to get and I was thinking about what kind of man I would want to date if J. and I ever go our separate ways. This led to the thought of “how can I really accomplish much of anything, my family is too backwoods hick, and since I was raised that way I have to put effort into making changes away from that permanent.” My mother’s side of the family is really backwoods hick, the family on the man who contributed his sperm to my creation (referred to as sperm donor after this) side would probably be considered redneck but they actually look and act like normal people, and they work hard for what they have. My mother only has 2 teeth left I think, and it’s not that I’m ashamed of her or anything, we have a lot of animosity between us on a good day. I just know what most people think of “redneck hicks” and I know that I would be judged by that at some point. Hell, I’m missing one of my teeth and have not been able to afford to get it replaced yet. So how much can someone who would be considered a “redneck hick” accomplish. If I met a great guy in Seattle, WA would his opinion change if he met my family? Is it possible to rise above my current station? Will working on rising above my current station guarantee the end of my current relationship with J.?

Finding out the answers to these questions actually frightens me. The answer to any one of them could be something that I don’t want to hear. If the answer is negative then what do I do then, how do I react then. If the answer is positive is my confidence good enough that I am actually ready for that change? I have been trying not to stress out about it, and just take things a step and a day at a time, but sometimes it weights heavy on my mind. Just another example of my loopy world!


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